Comedian Shane Fredericks has toiled away in obscurity for 11 years. He just can’t seem to make a name for himself, despite quality sets at bars, independently owned clubs, and local VFWs. So several months back, he had an idea to get his name in front of potentially hundreds, thousands, or even millions of people.
“Hey, any press is good press,” Fredericks mused. “I was thinking if I could become a controversial figure, some people may hate me, but I’d at least gain a fervent core of misogynistic supporters.”
His plan was to pay a woman $100 to create a #MeToo story about him. “None of the women I asked to do this with were willing to lie and put themselves in the middle of the controversy,” Fredericks said begrudgingly. He wanted a woman to accuse him of grabbing her breasts. Then he would make a counterclaim that he tripped on a power cord on the set of his self-produced web series Wacky Dad and accidentally grabbed her breasts while falling.
“I could be like that dress that people argued about online. Like, is it black & blue or is it white & gold? Sidenote… that dress is totally white & gold.” (editors note: this opinion does not represent the views of this writer or The Guest Spot publication) Fredericks wants people to argue online whether he grabbed the boobs deliberately, or if it was an accident, or if he’s actually a super hilarious extra-terrestrial who has hijacked Shane’s body.
UPDATE: There is brewing social media controversy on whether Fredericks is a piece of shit for attempting to bribe women into lying, or if he’s just exercising his rights in a free market economy, or if he’s actually a super hilarious extra-terrestrial who has hijacked Shane’s body. According to a Facebook post from his college roommate Nat Davis, “Shane was never very funny, and he ate Lil’ Smokies every day. Now he’s super funny and doesn’t eat Lil’ Smokies. There’s only one possible explanation. Aliens.” Perhaps Fredericks is going to get that publicity he craved after all.